Calm Couples™ Workshop Curriculum

Calm Couples™ Marriage Workshop (2 hours)

The divorce rate in the church is as high as the divorce rate in the rest of society. Though many put on a happy face on Sunday morning, most couples are struggling.

Married couples have been told several lies. We’ve been told that our lives need to revolve around our kids and that our spouse is supposed to meet our needs. We’ve got a checklist a mile long filled with resentments and fifteen good reasons our spouse needs to change. We think the grass is greener somewhere else. We’d leave if not for the kids.

We continually react to each other out of fear and anxiety—over money, sex, miscommunication, pride and how to raise the kids. Men withdraw and become emotionally distant. And before you know it, couples have drifted apart and no longer have anything in common. We may not be screaming at each other on the outside, but we are on the inside. It’s time to calm your marriage and your home, so you can build a great marriage that lasts…and that you want to be in because you like your spouse, not out of obligation.

This is a sample curriculum that we customize for each audience.

First, let’s discuss what we are NOT going to do. We are not going to try to meet each other’s deepest needs or be responsible for each other's happiness. You can’t nor should you try. We are not going to try to make guys be their wives’ girlfriends. We want men to be men and women to be women. We want people to be who they were born to be.

UNDERSTANDING HOW WE GOT HERE
Hollywood and Hallmark Kill Couples
Romantic movies and greeting cards create false, and dangerous, expectations for married couples.

Lies, Lies and More Lies
Love is all you need. You are supposed to meet your spouse’s needs.  I can change my spouse. The grass is greener. That couple down the street is so happy. All lies.

Discover the Real Purpose of Marriage
How can we have healthy marriages if we don’t even realize the real purpose of marriage? We guarantee you will see your spouse and marriage in an entirely different light. This is powerful.


10 STEPS TO A GREAT MARRIAGE
1. Control the one person you can control--you!  Why do we spend all our time trying to control people and things we can't control? This only creates anxiety and the outcomes we dread.

2. Be selfish so you can be selfless.  It’s selfish to ask your spouse to meet your needs. But there is another way—what it means to be "selfish" so that you can be selfless and serve from a position of wholeness.

3. Burn the checklist.  You know that checklist we keep in our mind. Who does more around the house, who gives more, who takes care of the kids? Resentments fester until they boil over. Men, bring flak jackets to protect your ribs from being poked.

4. Forgive and rebuild trust. Many people have been hurt deeply. But it's worth it to take the time to rebuild your relationship.

5. Be assertive.  Calm is not being a doormat—calm is assertive. Don’t be a martyr and then whine when everyone dumps on you. Respect yourself and be assertive about your wants. "Because I am responsible for controlling my own actions and meeting my needs, then I know what I need most." This is liberating for spouses.

6. Be apart so you don’t grow apart.  No, you don’t need to do everything together. You shouldn’t feel guilty because you want alone time. Find out how to be apart so you don’t grow apart.

7. Realize that love is overrated.  Do you like your spouse? Do you like who you are when you are with your spouse? Realize the Power of One.

8. Water your own grass.  The grass isn’t really greener over there, you know. It’s amazing what happens to that dead grass when you actually begin to water it yourself.

9. Cut the chords.   You are not married to your parents. You are a spouse first, a parent second and your parent’s son or daughter third. You are an adult now so it’s time to grow up!

10. Give the 3 greatest gifts. We will reveal to you the three gifts that every wife and husband REALLY want. And guess what? They are absolutely free.

Sex, Sickness and Life in a Blender
Internet pornography. Infidelity. Addictions. Depression. Money issues. Life with a blended family of step-kids and step-parents. We can pretend these thorny issues don’t exist in our families or we can address them head on with positive solutions. If left unaddressed, these issues can be a ticking time bomb. We will address these issues with positive solutions if you want us to.

Please contact us to schedule your Workshop.