“Do kids EVER understand how hard it is to be a parent?” Apparently this young man GOT IT after listening to my son challenge kids to respect their parents in our BRAND NEW Difficult Discussions program.

Likewise, we don’t always understand how hard it is to be a kid. And so for 18 years, kids and parents never really learn how to understand each other so the power struggles escalate until both sides just dig in.

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE A KID: I’M A FAILURE AT 7:22AM
I wake up to parents yelling, “Why can’t you ever get up on time?” and “You’re going to fail if you can’t be disciplined.” Next I hear a litany of orders being barked, things I don’t like doing. Take a shower, wear nice clothes, make your bed, eat something healthy, brush your teeth, brush your hair. All in a time crunch. My stomach is upset and the only thing that sounds good is a bagel or something unhealthy, so I endure the nutrition lectures. Yep, I’m a failure already at 7:22am.

Anything I do want to talk about, no one cares about. Because I don’t get a grade for robotics or creating videos or music I love. By the time I get home from school, I am emotionally drained. Done. And then I’m supposed to willingly sit for another two hours to do mind-numbing homework. My siblings will make a comment about how homework is “not that hard.” Well, to me it is and I get frustrated and refuse to do it and scream. And you scream at me. Within a few minutes, I’ll throw my book on the floor and you’ll be screaming at me.

All I can think about is building with Legos or trying to fix the computer I took apart last night, because I’m good at that. But I’ll never actually get to do that. Because I’m in trouble again. And now I have to go to soccer because you thought it would be good for me, but you don’t realize it’s just another opportunity for me to fail. So I’ll refuse and call you names to get sent to my room.Know how it feels to have both your mom and dad disappointed in you? And be disappointed in yourself?

So my whole day was miserable and spent fighting. Your whole day was miserable and spent fighting. I don’t wake up intending to be some bad kid. I don’t want you to be mad at me. Can we try to work things out so we can laugh again and enjoy each other?

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE A PARENT
Kids, here’s what I want you to understand about us as parents.

I was once a kid, like you. I once had parents who made me do things I didn’t like. I played with friends and did everything you do. Then I grew up, got married, and had you. And my life changed. Completely.

For the first time in my life, my entire world became about someone other than me. I learned that I could sacrifice things for this child that I had never sacrificed before. Almost all my waking thoughts are about you.

Just like you don’t mean to get upset at us, I don’t intend to do the same thing. See, when I go to work, my performance is based on how well I do things. But as a parent, my job is completely out of my control in the sense that it’s dependent on how YOU perform. Sometimes I fear that you won’t be happy or successful, and that scares me. So I lecture you and yes, sometimes control you, because I want so badly for you to be happy in life.

You will not realize this until you have your own kids. But no matter how much I mess up, know this. As a parent, nothing else in my life has ever come close to the feeling I have for you. I don’t wake up intending to be some lecturing, angry parent. I don’t want you to shut down on me.

Can we try to work things out so we can laugh again and enjoy each other?

TAKE THREE STEPS
Once you begin to truly understand each other, you can take three simple steps to actually turn all of those annoying power struggles into opportunities to build a closer relationship.

(1) Listen. Truly Listen. You hear your kids being defiant–but if you really listened, sometimes you can hear their frustration and use your life wisdom to help them not feel overwhelmed…instead of lecturing and adding more pressure. Kids hear their parents being “mean” or too strict. But if your kids really listened, they would hear you trying to protect them from pain.

(2) Acknowledge. Right now, you and your kids are assuming the worst about each other’s intentions. What if your child isn’t just being lazy and what if your parents aren’t unreasonable?

(3) Own your part. We get so busy trying to prove our point that each side blames the other and nothing gets resolved. Parents bark consequences and kids continue to resist. It doesn’t have to be this way! We can show you with the exact words how to talk to your parents…and to your kids.

• Build mutual trust and cooperation. Rebuild a broken relationship.
• Casey teaches kids how to disagree respectfully without being rude.
• Kirk teaches parents how to problem solve without escalating situations or denigrating kids.
• Turn even the most irritating traits into advantages.

What if conflict is a huge opportunity to build trust and a closer relationship? And what if trust and a closer relationship ultimately lead to mutual cooperation in the home?

You get a Playbook, or Cheat Sheet, with the actual conversations that parents and kids are emailing to each other to resolve issues now before the stress of the school year kicks back in.

SPECIAL OFFER: The regular price of this program with be $197. But the first 50 families who order get the downloads, playbook, and cheat sheet for only $97.